So this past weekend was hubby's birthday he turned 28 years old. Wow I cant believe this was the 10th birthday that I spend with him! But how I still love him like the first day. So I didn't have that much money to do something big for him, or take him somewhere nice, and all he really wanted was to have a get together with his close friends, but everyone was pretty busy this weekend. So Leilani and I decided to bake him a cake and take him out for breakfast, and also got him a small gift. It turned out great! I think Leilani was more excited than him, but that's OK, that made him happy to know that his princess was happy for him. Then later we went to parents house for dinner and sang him happy birthday.
Well the next day one of his best friends wife texts me to see if we wanted to hang out, to kind of celebrate his birthday. I asked Eliott, he said yes, called up my mom to see if I could leave Leilani, dropped her off and we were out in a matter of 45 minutes. I called two other couple friend of ours to see if they wanted to come and they both said no, due to their responsibilities with their kids. Which I completely understand. My point to this is that as we were hanging out, I realize that I'm never at the same stage as any of my friends or his friends. Eliott and I were able to get up and leave pretty fast the house and our friends couldn't and a couple years back it was us that had a hard time getting up and leaving because we had a little one and no one had kids or they were way older. I always felt left out, kind of peer pressured( yes it can happen still), and lonely. Left out because I sometimes couldnt go to certain places, peered pressured because they would constantly tell me find a babysitter, or make comments like "when I have kids we are still going to go out" instead of understanding, and lonely because I had no one to relate. They were all married and christian, but none of them had kids, so they could get up and leave. So I distance myself for about a year an half from some of our closest friends. I focused on my family and as I did that all of my friends started to have kids. I taught this was great now finally we will have things in common. Wrong and Right at the same time, we do a little, now they understand, but I still feel awkward. Leilani is going to be four years old in two weeks and all of their kids are under one. So now I'm the one that has a little more flexibility and they don't. They are all into diapers, time schedules, and making baby food and I'm way past that. I cant help but feel lonely sometimes. Almost like I'm never going to get the right friends.
Lord please send me friends that are Christians, young like Eliott and I, and that have children Leilani's age. Love your daughter!
